


I Do

by Kitkatzgr8



Series: Corpse Groom [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Corpse Bride AU, F/M, I kinda hate that this is the first sanders sides work I post, Idk what this was, Logan is in the AU but not in this snippet so it's cool, M/M, Patton is Victoria, Platonic Moxiety, Prinxiety - Freeform, Roman is Emily, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Virgil is Victor, corpse bride is a 10/10 movie, i actually like how it turned out though so that's something, i made a bullet point outline of this on tumblr then accidentally wrote it, sanders sides corpse bride au, whoop another unwanted au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 11:55:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15728913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitkatzgr8/pseuds/Kitkatzgr8
Summary: Nervous about their impending wedding, Virgil takes Patton's advice and goes on a walk to try and sort things out.The good news: he finally got the vows right.The grave news: he married the wrong person.(Sanders Sides Corpse Bride AU because why not?)





	I Do

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Okay brain I got 2 whole hours to finally get caught up on writing. What should I work on today? My ongoing Youtube fic I've been devoting my soul to? That BATIM reader insert people have requested I add on to? That Sanders Sides fic I've spent months planning and just have to finish two more chapter before I can post? Or maybe that old Hamilton fic I used to love writing for?  
> Brain: ...new story  
> Me: What?  
> Brain: nEw StOrY  
> Me, looking down at my word document to find that I've accidentally written half the chapter of a completely new work*: WHAT?????  
> Brain: NEw sTOrYY  
> Me: *sobs incoherently as I pour my soul into yet another story*
> 
>  
> 
> So... yeah... hope y'all are doing great... and I hope you enjoy this weird AU that I posted an outline of on Tumblr and then accidentally wrote it! The post is [here](https://myownhappilyeverafter.tumblr.com/post/177134050484/okay-so-hear-me-out) if you wanna check it out.

“Virgil, I know I’ve raised you to do better than this!”

“It’s a few simple lines; not even _you_ should be able to mess this up!”

“I don’t have all day, _sir_. If you could give this your full attention for _once_ , we would all very much appreciate it.”

Virgil’s eyes were closed now, hands gripping the sides of his head as he tried to ignore all that was happening around him. Unfortunately, closing his eyes made no difference. The angry faces of Mr. and Mrs. Heart were seared into his memory, alongside the disappointed faces of his parents, and the disgusted look of the priest. And Patton… he was probably so disappointed… he couldn’t…

“Virgil, Virge, are you alright?” He felt gentle hands grasp the ones digging into the side of his head and sighed as he felt the now familiar presence of his dearest friend wash over him. The hands managed to coax his hands away from his head, leaving behind a throbbing pain from the tight grip. “It’s going to be fine, okay Virge? It’s going to be fine.”

“Just leave him,” he heard his mother’s sharp voice cut through the warm presence, and he flinched slightly. “He does this all the time, throws a fit when he doesn’t get what he wants.”

“Virge, it’s okay. Breath, okay? Just focus on breathing. Can you look at me?” The warmth was back, with a slight sharpness to it now. Virgil managed to open his eyes, fearful of that sharpness being directed at him, but he saw that the usually laughing blue eyes of the man in front of him were glaring at his mother. Noticing that Virgil was now looking at him, he quickly turned back to face him and smiled, all sharpness gone. “There we are! Gosh, I could stare into those beautiful eyes all day!” The shaking man couldn’t help but crack a smile at that, choking on his breath again as he giggled slightly. “Now, we’re going to take a couple deep breaths, okay? Just follow my counting…”

“P… Patton…” he managed to breathe out. “I… I’m s-s-sorry…”

“Shhh, no, you have nothing to apologize for. Just focus on my voice, okay? Breath in, yes just like that, you’re doing amazing, Virge, for 1, 2, 3…”

“On the contrary, I believe that this foolish young man has a lot that he must apologize for!” the priest cut in. “For one, he has wasted an entire day on a rehearsal that should’ve taken only 20 minutes! I would even say-” One quick glare from Patton cut him off.

“Okay, we’re just going to go outside for a bit, okay, Virge? So we can get some fresh air.” Keeping a tight but comfortable grip on Virgil’s clammy hands, Patton pushed through the line of angry parents and led his hyperventilating friend towards the large church doors.

“Patton James Heart, you better not leave this church-” Mr. Heart’s voice echoed through the empty building, but Patton didn’t even spare his father a glance, keeping his focus on Virgil.

“It’s a little cold,” he remarked quietly, pushing open one of the large doors and leading his friend through the opening. The wind whipped past them, slamming the entrance closed with a bang. Virgil jumped at that, then started to apologize profusely, words incoherent beneath the sobs.

“Shhh, it’s not your fault Virge. You’re doing fine. Keep breathing with me, alright? In for 1, 2, 3, 4…” Keeping up the exercise, Patton led Virgil around the corner of the building and out of the freezing wing, helping him down to a sitting position against the church wall. “You’re doing beautifully, Virgil. I’m so proud of you. Now, again, hold it… Then breath out with me, okay?” Keeping up the counting, Patton slipped off his grey suit coat and set it around his friend’s shoulders, tucking the fabric around the shivering man.

“....C...cold… you’re g-going to…”

“It was too warm in the church for my taste anyway, so I’m glad I have an excuse to take of the coat!” Patton said with a giggle. “Please keep focusing on the breathing, okay kiddo?”

Virgil took another shuddering breath as Patton knelt in the icy slush in front of him, letting go of his left hand to gently stroke his hair. “D-Did you j-just call me a k-kiddo? I’m… I’m the s-same age as you, P-Patton… we’re getting m-married tomorrow… “

Patton just giggled again, and Virgil couldn’t help but smile at the sound. “Yeah, and I can’t wait! I’ve always wanted to have a sleepover, and now I get one every night with my best friend! Plus, now you’re legally obligated to snuggle with me whenever I feel like it!”

“Patton, you know I’d s-snuggle you, m-m-married or not. You’re just t-too loveable to s-say no to.”

Patton’s hands flew to his mouth, and Virgil swore that he saw tears forming in his baby blue eyes as he made a series of incoherent sounds of happiness.

“...does that mean we can get a dog? You just said you couldn’t say no!” Fluttering his eyelashes at his friend, Patton looked pleadingly at him. “Please?”

Virgil smiled slightly at him, then held his and Patton’s hand to his chest. “With this hand, I will hold yours in mine. Your life will never again be lonely, for you are now legally obligated to share my home, no takebacks.” As Patton giggled, Virgil switched his grip so that he was now holding his hand lightly in his own. “With this kiss, I vow to forever remain your best friend,” he whispered against Patton’s knuckles before lightly kissing it. Looking into his betrothed’s shining eyes, he swallowed, then slowly dropped Patton’s hand and extended his pinkie finger towards the man. “And… with this pinkie promise... I promise that I’ll buy you a dog.”

Patton once again devolved into a giggling, blushing pile of incoherent happy squeals, throwing himself into his friend’s waiting arms for a tight hug. “Ah, you’re the best, Virgil! That should totally be our vows!” he said happily, words muffled as he pressed his face into the other’s chest, and Virgil took the opportunity to sneakily slip Patton’s coat back over the man’s shoulders. Pulling back slightly, he looked up at Virgil with shining eyes. “And look, you didn’t stutter once!”

Virgil froze, then slowly nodded. “Huh… I g-guess I didn’t…”

Both men sat there in silence for a minute, not moving even when the frozen slush on the ground slowly soaked through their clothes. “...Why don’t you go on a walk?” Patton finally suggested, hand falling away from stroking Virgil’s hair and going back to holding his other hand. “I’ll stay here and calm down everyone. You can go practice on your own with none of their negative words bogging you down and, by the time the real wedding rolls around, you’ll be able to say the whole thing perfectly!”

  
“...You t-think so?”

“I _know_ so, kiddo!” Rolling his eyes at once again being called a kid, Virgil let out a noise of surprise as Patton pulled him to his feet, hugging him tightly to keep him from falling over. “You’re going to do great!” Keeping his light grip on Virgil’s waist, Patton stood on tiptoes to lay a chaste kiss on the other’s cheek, smiling sweetly at how flustered the other got. “Whether you do it ‘right’ according to our parents, just know that I am very proud of you, Virgil,” he whispered before falling back onto his heels and pulling away. He gently straightened the other’s lavender tie, then gave a little wave as he jogged around the corner towards the church’s entrance, coat still draped over his shoulders.

Virgil just stood, watching as the last flash grey fabric rounded the corner, then sighed and turned away, pulling his own coat more securely over his shoulders.

“I c-can do t-this… I can d-do this…” he muttered quietly to himself, wincing at every stutter. “With this c-cup… with this cup I w-will… oh c-come on!” Finding himself walking a familiar path to the woods, he continued trying to say the vows right, internally reprimanding himself every time he messed up. He would get it right.

Patton deserved at least that much.

Before he knew it, his shoes were crunching on freshly fallen snow, flakes falling around him from the trees surrounding him even though it had stopped snowing hours ago. Brushing off the powdery white on his shoulders, he took another breath as stepped deeper into the forest. “W-With this… dang it… with this hand, I will l-lift your s-sorrows… no!” His nails dug into his palms as he came to a halt, imagining Patton’s voice counting with him as he did his breathing exercises. “I can d-do this… I c-can… I…”

Maybe he should just run. Looking to the side, he saw the seemingly endless expanse of trees, the forest growing darker and more foreboding the longer he looked. Shivering, he stared down at his polished shoes, then kept walking deeper into the woods.

It wasn’t as though he particularly minded an arranged marriage between him and Patton Heart. Sure, he had been nervous about it before they had met (had it really only been a week ago?), but as soon as he had laid eyes on the glowing being that he was sure was somehow a physical culmination of sunshine and purity, he hadn't felt any real abhorrence towards the union. Everything was okay when he was with Patton. And, even more surprising than feeling okay with someone, was the fact that the other seemed to feel the same around him. Someone that wasn’t just willing, but sought out physical affection. Someone that knew, somehow, just how to help him when his breathing went weird. Someone who quieted the thoughts in his mind. And… someone who genuinely seemed to like him. A friend.

...Patton’s _only_ friend.

He knew that was the only reason Patton liked him. Even he could remember when Lord Heart’s firstborn had gone missing years ago, apparently run off with a hussy to get out an arranged marriage. They wouldn’t let the same mistake befall their other son, and as such, Patton had been essentially locked away from the world. Virgil had been one of the only people besides his parents that he had seen in years, and even though the man felt guilty that he was leading the other on like this, taking advantage of someone who was just so starved of human contact that he thought Virgil could even come close to being a good person, he couldn’t help that jolt of happiness he felt every time Patton laughed at something he said, or hugged him, or told him it was alright to not be okay for a while.

He knew he would never even remotely be the person Patton somehow thought he was, and he was almost glad, in a sick way, that the marriage was final. Even after the other saw how pitiful he was, how useless and stupid he was, and _how he couldn’t even stop the damn stuttering…_

Jumping into his breathing exercise again, he continued walking. Even imagining Patton there, holding his freezing hands in his warm ones and counting gently with him, it still took him few minutes to calm down even a bit.

“N-No… n-no… he d-doesn't like me,” he broke out, once again coming to a stop. “He… he d-doesn’t really know a-anyone else, s-so... but he still… even though he doesn't... h-he still...”

_He said he believes in me._

  
He stood there quietly for a second, then looked down at his empty hands. His cheek burned comfortably with the memory of Patton’s kiss, and his words flashed through his mind. _“I am very proud of you, Virgil.”_ His hands balled into fists, and he took a sharp breath before snapping his head up, staring straight ahead as he imagined himself at the altar. Even if Patton did see how despicable he really was, even if he lost his closest friend in the world that he had only really known for a week, even if…

He could still at least do this right. If not for him, then for Patton. He could do it. He could do it. He could worry about how to get Patton out of this cursed relationship with him when the other brought it up. Right now, he could at least get the damn vows right. “With this hand,” he began, a new confidence in his voice, “I will lift your sorrows.”

 _“See? You got this, kiddo!”_ he could almost hear his betrothed cheering from the sidelines, and a small grin made it onto his face at the thought.

Taking another deep breath, he sent a silent prayer to the heavens, then continued, voice calm and steady. “Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.” He almost laughed as he finished the line, surprised he had managed to get this far through without stuttering.

Only two more to go. Patton believed in him. He could do this.

Beginning to get into it, Virgil broke off a twig from a dying tree slouched over in the snow, mimed lighting a candle on the rock in front of him.“With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.” Looking around, he could almost imagine the trees bent over in the snow, the dusted rocks and the newly sprouting fir trees, to be people in the pews, watching him as he stepped up to the alter. 

“With this ring…” Pulling a polished gold ring out of his breast pocket, he took a deep breath, then turned to the side. He could imagine Patton’s sunny grin and laughing eyes looking excitedly at him now, eagerly holding up a hand for him to slide the ring onto, a silver one in his other hand to do likewise for Virgil. A nearly straight branch stuck out of the snow-covered earth, conveniently tapering out to a couple points to look like a spindly version human hand. Kneeling beside it, he imagined his betrothed holding out his hand to him, and slipped the ring onto the branch to finish the scene. “...I ask you to be mine.”

And then… he was done. Another smile graced his face as remained, frozen in that last position. He had done it! Not a single stuttered word, nor any other mistakes he could-

The branch seemed to crack, and then suddenly, Virgil’s hand was tangled in the spindly twigs. Jerking back, he felt a scream surge up in his throat as the ground around the branch was disturbed. What was happening? Tugging frantically at his arm, he saw that all he was really doing was pulling up the tree, which was cracking to show...

He paled.

The dirt cracked away to reveal a pearly white color, joints cracking as they moved to get a better grip.

As the _hand_ moved to get a better grip.

  
Adrenaline kicked in, and Virgil tugged even more frantically at his arm. There was a snap, and then he found himself on his back, no longer being dragged into the ground. There was still an uncomfortable pressure on his wrist, and holding up his hand, he saw that a skeletal forearm and hand was still maintaining a tight grip.

He wanted to scream, or maybe throw up, but all that made its way out of his throat with a pitiful squeak. The ground was in turmoil… no, it was a _figure_ , clawing its way out of the ground. Virgil scrambled backward, forgetting about the skeletal appendage still attached to his wrist. If there was any blood left in his face, it all drained as the figure fought their way to a standing position, sheets of caked dirt falling away, vines and roots grudgingly giving up their hold they had on the figure when they were still below the ground.

Somehow, Virgil found himself standing again, but once up, he couldn’t move. He was frozen, staring at the figure as they moved around in a jerky fashion. Their right arm appeared to be mostly missing, but they used their left to brush off the clumps of dirt that were still clinging to them. Virgil vaguely registered that they appeared to be human, but all thoughts considering that were immediately pushed out of his mind as the figure took a few experimental steps, looked around in confusion, then turned towards Virgil.

It was a man.

His torn suit coat was a dingy grey, dirt falling away from folds to reveal that the original color had probably been white. The left sleeve of his coat was still intact, but the right could barely even be called a sleeve, revealing a skeletal arm that was reaching out for the other. And… oh… once Virgil laid eyes on his side, he couldn’t look away. While the rest of the suit was indeed in disrepair, his left side was absolutely shredded, tendrils of crimson stained fabric giving way to a dirt-stained ribcage.

Vaguely, Virgil could feel his body beginning to shut down as he tried desperately to turn and run away. But his limbs were locked, and all he could do was keep examining what he now recognized as a corpse standing in front of him.

Despite the top of his outfit being in ruins, Virgil was surprised to see that the corpse’s pants were still in decent shape. Excluding the dirt still falling from the folds in the fabric, the hems of the pant legs were the only real frayed part of the piece. Honestly, they seemed to be in better condition than Virgil’s, which wasn’t really saying much as, of course, the whole point of his arranged marriage was to join his family’s assets with the Heart’s in order to buy the fancier things in life.

Finally, Virgil’s dark eyes wandered up to the corpse’s face, and he inhaled sharply. He was staring back at Virgil with a gentle look that only Patton himself could rival. His deathly blue lips were turned up in a lovestruck smile, taking a moment to smooth his dark hair, seemingly tinted purple by the moon, while still reaching out for the other.

The man’s soft lips parted, and Virgil found himself frozen in place even as the corpse stepped closer. He blinked, then he found the other’s deathly cold hand gently cupping his face, tilting it up slightly so that he could look the other in the eye. “I do,” he almost purred, soft lovestruck smile giving way to a brighter grin. Surprisingly, his teeth were still pearly white and straighter than the man seemed to be gay, and Virgil couldn’t help but feel almost jealous of the other at this fact.

“W-W-What?” Virgil managed to breathe out, and he realized that he was shaking again.

The corpse just tisked sadly, gently tracing the shivering man’s face with his freezing hand. He flicked a strand of wild hair from his forehead with a skeletal finger, then gave his full attention back to the man in front of him. “Oh, no need to fear, my dashing hero,” he said softly, hand falling away as he stepped closer to the trembling man. Virgil wanted to flinch as the cold from the other’s body seeped through his suit, but he still found himself frozen in place, staring up into the corpse’s lively eyes. “I accept your proposal wholeheartedly. You no longer have to fear my rejection.”

His hand wandered down to Virgil’s, and the terrified man managed to get his head to move and follow it. He saw the corpse loop some tendons dangling from his skeletal elbow around the forearm still holding tight to Virgil’s, and the man gasped as the tight grip on his wrist finally released. “So sorry about that, my dear,” he said quietly, pulling back slightly to examine the break between the elbow and the lower arm. Grabbing a couple more strings of muscle, he looped them around the bones, weaving them in and out between the bend in his elbow. Virgil could only watch in frightened fascination as the corpse finished the attachment, tested the arm, then turned back to face him. “I was just a tad… stuck, under the earth, and was worried if I didn’t have a tight enough grip, I might lose you.”

“Y...y-y-you… y-y-you’re…” Virgil still couldn’t stop the shaking, the breathing, the _stuttering_. He pulled his arms up to his chest, trying in vain to slow his now racing heart. His breathing was erratic, and he couldn’t remember the breathing that could save him.

“My prince, do not be afraid,” the corpse purred, drawing himself closer to Virgil, who was once again frozen in place. “It is but one more step we must take together to finish the ceremony. Then we may be together... 'til death do us part...”

Gently carding his skeletal hand through Virgil’s hair, he slowly pulled the other towards him. He stopped for a second, as if waiting for the man’s approval, but Virgil’s limbs, though now finally unfrozen, left him weak with terror, and couldn’t muster enough energy to push the corpse away.

“You may now kiss the groom,” were the corpse’s final words before Virgil felt cold lips on his.

Then, everything went black.


End file.
